Be My Wonderwall
by Dreams Are Bursting Bubbles
Summary: Becca returns home to La Push. When she meets Embry, her best friend as they were kids, he imprints on her. Can Becca leave her fears behind and start again? Full summary inside. Please read and review. Constructive criticism is much appreciated.
1. Jack The Ripper

_**Be My Wonderwall**_

**Summary**

After her soon-to-be-fiancé cheated on her, Becca returns home to La Push. When she meets Embry, her best friend as they were kids, he imprints on her. But Becca is broken, can Embry heal her? Can she leave her fears behind and start again? And will they get together so easily? Becca will go through lots of problems, happen to have a drama queen and jealousy around her but also friendship, love and happiness. And she will learn that hope is what pulls us through the bad times. Please read and review. Constructive criticism is much appreciated.

---

_**1. Jack The Ripper**_

_Playlist for this chapter:_

_Green Day – 21 Guns_

_Wonderwall – Oasis (This is the song this story is actually named after.)_

_Ein Gruß - Juli_

---

**W**ednesday. 6 p.m. In the changing room of Woodberry Hospital, Honolulu, Hawaii.

_-Rebecca's POV-_

"Why do you always need hours to change?"

"Because, Linn. First, I want to talk to you. Second, Jack's having a party with all his friends and I really don't mind if I'm late," I answered her truthfully. I'm not a party chick. I hate hang-over and I had just finished work. I took my bag and signed.

"How are things going with Jack?" Linn asked as she was looking through a huge amount of paper. I smiled. Things couldn't be possible better with Jack. Jack, my best friend, boyfriend and lover, was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was so lucky to have him. He was smart, open and friendly, always smiling and a very positive person. He loved me, and I loved him.

"Earth to Becca! Holy shit, I didn't want to know what you guys are doing at night. Just an 'Oh, things are great, we're engaged now' would have been fine," Linn pointed out.

I, of course, was blushing bright red. "We talk. Ever heard of being respectful? You cuss like a sailor."

"You do, too."

I had to admit it. "Yeah. You rub off. But Jack listens. He's perfect for me."

"Yeah, yeah. Blahblah. Why don't you marry him already?"

I rolled my eyes. Of course I will marry him one day. "First, I want to wait until the time's right. Second, why always marriage? We are both happy without being married." I leaned against Linn's desk with a weird mixture of a dreamy and an annoyed expression on my face.

"Mhm. Why wait? You guys are a really cute couple. And he's a gentleman. You won't find anything better. I'm nearly jealous," she murmured, working on her computer. Her eyes never left the screen and her fingers pushed a few strands of her blonde hair out of her face.

"Don't be. But I'm pretty sure he's the right one for me."

"So why wait?" She repeated.

I had to admit, this was a very good question. I had never asked myself that before; waiting seemed to be right. But I _was_ sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Jack. And he _had_ asked me to marry him. I answered him I didn't want to rush things. He accepted it and told me not to worry. We would marry when we're both ready, he promised. But, would I ever feel more ready than I felt now? I didn't now.

"I don't know, really." I said. I was always completely honest with Linn. She took care of all doctors in the hospital and she was my best girl friend. "I mean, I wanted to wait because I wanted to be completely and utterly sure that he's the right one and I want to marry him. It always seemed to be such a final decision."

"It is an important decision. But, Becca, if you don't think it is the right thing to do, then don't. You have to do what your heart tells you. Just keep it in your mind, kay?"

I nodded. That was something I could do. But suddenly a thought crossed my mind – what if he didn't want to marry me anymore? He asked me a few weeks ago.

"Don't worry too much. You'll be home pretty early if you go now."

"No. I want to have a look at Sara Kenyon. Then I'll go."

"Okay. Take your time. Oh, and by the way, this Rachel girl called two times. She complained the second time why the hell you have to work so long. Who is she?"

I grinned. Rachel called rarely, but we were still close. She went back to La Push a few months ago, and I really wanted to hear how things were going there. I missed her.

"She's my sister. I'll call her later. Bye!" I said and hurried to Sara's room.

She had had an accident this morning and I had to operate. But there wasn't much I could do for her; she was paralyzed down her waist and it was not likely for her to be able to walk again. She was 16, for God's sake! She hadn't deserved to be in that accident. Her mom told me she loved to dance. Dancing was her world, and she wouldn't be able to do it ever again.

I opened the door slowly. She was lying in her bed, still sleeping. A young man, about 18 years was sitting beside her, holding her hand. He stared at her face and didn't turn around as I entered the room. I went to have a look at the monitors next to her bed. Everything okay, thank god. At least she was going to be okay. Or whatever you define paralyzed down the waist. I slowly turned to face the man.

He had to be her boyfriend, and he wasn't looking well. His eyes were full of sadness, with large dark blue rings under them. His brown hair was messy and his clothes dirty. He hadn't left her bed since she got here. Not an unusual sight for me, but it always touched my heart. Would anyone be sitting beside my bed, if I had an accident? I didn't know and I wouldn't demand it. If Jack wanted to sit there, I would be thankful, but I wouldn't ask him to stay by my side. I knew I would be staying by his side.

I smiled down at the girl's face. She looked so peaceful in her sleep. She had no idea how bad she was hurt and she was probably exhausted. I gave her a bit soporific so she would sleep the whole night. She would awake in the morning and I would have to tell her. This was the part I hated about my job. I spoke quiet and carefully. "She's stable now. She will sleep the whole night, you should go home."

The man turned to face me. I looked at him with soft eyes. "I can't leave her," he whispered hoarsely.

"I know," I murmured. "She will need you. It's good for her to have people who love her by her side… believe me, she will need you."

"I love her so much… she didn't deserve this. This is my fault!" He buried his face in his hands, but I could see the painful expression.

"Stop it," I said hard. "Do you love her? Does it matter to you that she will never be able to walk again?"

"No," he said, looking at her peaceful face. "No, it doesn't matter. She's beautiful. I love her."

"Good," I said softly to him. "I'm sure she loves you, too. She was pretty restless before you came. She needs you." His face softened. "You have to stay strong for her, and nobody said this will be easy. But you need to prove to her that she's still the old Sara. That she is still beautiful and nothing changed. That your love didn't change. She's lucky to have you," I added.

He nodded, lost in thoughts. I signed unhappily. I should tell him to go home, but I didn't think he would do it and I could understand why he won't go home. I stroke her cheek and left the room.

Standing on the corridor, I looked trough the window. He was whispering in her ear. They should be happy to have each other, and if they stayed together, they would probably be together forever. I didn't think anything could separate them after they got through this.

I turned around and made my way outside. I was still a fifteen-minutes-walk away from Jack's apartment. I had my own apartment, but we spent most of our time at his. So I headed through the crowded streets, looking forward to seeing my boyfriend. It was really loud, music banged through the streets. I hated the city and the noise.

I stepped out of the elevator. I could already hear people laughing. I took a deep breath and opened the door. "Hey, Becca," Dave said. Dave was Jack's big brother. He looked a bit uncomfortable.

"Hey, Dave," I said and gave him a smile. He didn't smile back but looked worried.

"I didn't think you would come home so early..."

"I get always home around this time," I replied.

"Well, yeah…" He looked away.

"Where's Jack?" I asked. I wanted to see him badly.

"Upstairs," was Dave's response, as he turned around and walked into the kitchen.

I ran up the stairs to the bedroom. Something wasn't right.

I opened the door and just wanted to scream.

_A/N: This is the story I've been working on lately. My beta is Ever Uley. It's an Embry imprint story and there will be a lot of drama and such ;).__ Becca was never married to Jack. It's after Breaking Dawn and Jake's usually with the Cullens in Canada – not like I planned. The lovely people who have read my other story, Love heals everything, know what I think of Jake imprinting on a half vampire, and I'm just so mean and tell all the others: 'Go read my other story to find out, and if you do, review! Thanks ;)'. Anyway, I plan on updating two times a week. I have already written the first eight chapters. I don't know if there will be a playlist for every chapter. Mostly I just wrote down the songs I was listening to while I was writing this chapter. And, the song(s) by Juli is/are in German, so if you like it but don't understand it, I can translate for you, just tell me in a review or PM or whatever. I put them here because I love them, and I do think it's really fascinating to listen to words in another language even if you don't understand what it means._

_A big thank you to Ever Uley again. She is an amazing beta and writes fascinating stories, go check them out!_

_I'm not begging you to review. If you want, you go do it, it makes my heart always fluffy and warm =) _

_Love you all,_

_Becky._


	2. Here We Go

_**2. Here we go **_

**M**y boyfriend and a small girl with long brown hair were making out. Not just a simple kiss, no, _making out_. I stood there, wordless. I just stared at them in shock. My eyes filled with tears but I didn't want them to see how bad it hurt. My Jack, my best friend, was kissing another woman. And it was obvious that he wasn't forced to doing this. He was nearly eating her face and I wanted to throw up. I turned around, slammed the bed room door shut and stormed outside. I ran into Dave, who looked at me with pitiful eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to see it," he murmured. _He knew._

I couldn't speak. I had to get out of this house.

Outside, I took deep breaths to calm down. But Jack ripped my heart apart. He cheated on me. He cheated on me. _He cheated on me._

_Well,_ I thought, _seems like he doesn't want to marry me anymore. What did I do? Why doesn't he love me anymore? Why?_ It hurt so much. I cried. And then, I started to run.

---

Go on. Fast. _My breath sped up as my feet started to hurt._

No matter where. _My whole body was on fire. The pain tore me apart._

Run, run, run. Leave it all behind. _I saw the streets through a blur of tears. Was it just a dream?  
_  
Go. Faster. Never look back. _No. How could I look back, if the pain was too much?_

---

And then, I broke down. I tripped over a stone. I was trembling, crying. I couldn't breathe anymore. Jack took my heart and broke it. I lay down and closed my eyes. Everything went black. It was over.

I awoke. And everything seemed different.

I couldn't say what time it was. Minutes, hours after I got my heart broken? I took a deep breath. At least I could breathe again. I would live without Jack. He would not break me again. I grabbed my bag and looked at myself in my pocket mirror in the fading light of a street lamp.

I looked like shit. My green eyes were red and watery, my tanned skin unnaturally pale and my hair a mess. I stood up, took my bag and walked to my apartment. It took me pretty long to get there, but I was glad to see something familiar. I felt a bit more home, as I walked into my bedroom and looked at the clock. 3 a.m. I had work at 10 a.m. and I didn't plan on skipping. Jack would not ruin my day. I would have fun without him; I couldn't let him destroy me.

I took a long, hot shower. I was really cold and it took long for my muscles to relax. I quickly dried my hair and went to bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was asleep.

---

_I was home again. I was back in La Push, a happy twelve-year-old girl with straight raven hair and green eyes. I was with my sister Rachel and my little brother Jacob. Mom took us to the beach, it was unusual sunny and warm._

"_Come on, Becca, let's go swimming!" Rachel said. She was my twin, a tall, skinny girl. We looked pretty much the same apart from our eyes. Mine were a sparkling green, glowing when I was happy, hers were a deep brown, just like our father's eyes. She was running towards the water._

"_Coming!" I shouted back. Mom was sitting under a few trees and reading. _

"_Becca! Becca!," Jake shouted, running towards me. I stopped as I saw him. When he stood next to me, a tall seven-year-old boy with dark eyes and the same raven hair as his sisters, he whispered in my ear. "Let's go cliff diving! Mom won't see!"_

_I smiled happily. "Rachel! Come with us!" We all met at the cliff and Rachel checked if Mom could see us or not. Jake tickled me until we were both lying on the ground, laughing tears. Rachel came back and told us that Mom was dozing. She wasn't watching us – always a mistake when there are three siblings who are not afraid of adventures. _

_We took our hands and jumped. I was in the mid of us, I was always the one who got along with everyone. I felt free as we were falling – I felt free and invincible. No one could hurt me, I felt strong and loved. We hit the water and suddenly everything went wrong. _

_No one held me anymore, I was still falling. But I was alone. I wasn't scared, but I knew in that moment that I was going to die. I would die. I would never see my family again. The cold water was making it hard to swim. Very hard. But I just couldn't give up – I was raised to always go on. I had always hope. _

_Everything was dark, but then I saw a light. I tried to swim towards it. _

_A picture of my mother appeared. She was smiling at me. "Go home, Becca. They are waiting for you. They need you. It's time for my little girl to be happy again. It's time for you to find love and hope__," her sweet voice whispered gently.__ I shook my head._

"_Take me home, mommy!" I screamed. I would do everything if I could be with her… _

_She shook her head. "You have to come home…"_

---

I opened my eyes. I was sweating and my whole body felt cold. My breath was going fast and my muscles were sore and tense. I got up and took another long, nice shower. I applied a bit make-up and looked at myself in the mirror. I still looked like shit. The make-up was senseless. I signed and forced myself to eat something. Sometimes I felt like my own patient.

One hour later I was on my way to work. It felt good to do something familiar. Working as a doctor had always been my dream job and I was proud of myself that I became a doctor. Mom would have been proud, too. At this thought a lump formed in my throat. I swallowed hard and hurried into the changing room. "Hey, Linn." I changed quickly.

"Hey, Becca! When are you getting married?" Linn asked happily.

A lump formed in my throat. My voice was shaking as I said, "I'm not getting married. J-Jack c-cheated o-on m-me."

"What?!" Linn stood up and hugged me. "Holy shit, girl, you look horrible."

"Way to point out the obvious," I answered with a small smile.

"Do you want to go home? I could call someone else…," she offered. I thought for a moment. I could go home, but I didn't want to miss work. I love my job. On the other hand I didn't want to talk to Sara Kenyon. But, I also knew that she was my patient and I _had_ to tell her. It wouldn't do any good if some one else told her the devastating news. I signed. "No, I'll stay. It'll keep my mind off things," I told her with a reassuring smile. She still looked worried. "I'll be fine."

---

I made my way to the emergency room. Susie, a nurse, called me. She told me a little girl would be waiting in the trauma room 1. I took my utensils and went into the surgery. A four-year-old girl was sitting there with a scared expression on her face. Her arm was covered with a towel. Her mom was nowhere seen. I smiled as I went to her.

"Hello, my name is Becca. Who are you?" I asked her.

She smiled a bit. "Amee," she said.

"Amy?" I checked. She nodded. "Okay, Amy, where does it hurt?"

She looked sad. "My arm. Mommy said I should be careful but I didn't listen," she explained quickly.

I gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, we will fix it. It won't even hurt," I promised. I took the towel and checked her wound. It wasn't that deep. It just hurt badly because there was dirt in it, so I started to clean the wound. Amy watched my every move.

"Why are you so sad?" She suddenly asked. I looked up and smiled. "Oh, I'm just having a bad day." She watched me carefully. "Will you be happy again?"

"Of course," I said. "Don't worry." I had her wound clean in no time and wrapped a bandage around her arm. Then I took a pencil and drew a huge smiley on it. She giggled happily and it made me feel warm. I would be happy again.

I quickly talked to her mother and explained everything to her. Amy didn't have to stay in the hospital and her mom signed with relief as I told her that Amy would be fine. I smiled as I saw them walking outside. My first smile without force – that's a progress, isn't it?

---

"Miss Black?"

I turned around and found Professor Hedley looking at me. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" I looked a bit ashamed. I didn't even pay attention to him.

He smiled. "I can understand that it's hard for you to concentrate on your work, but you have to. If you feel like going home, then please feel free to talk to Linn. I'm sure we will manage without you for one day."

"I'm sorry, Professor," I repeated. How did he know something happened? "I will just go back to work. I just enjoyed the happiness for a moment…" I trailed off. He gave me an encouraging smile.

"That's a good thing. But I think Sara Kenyon needs you now. You're a very competent doctor. This hospital is lucky to have you." Professor Hedley didn't speak in high terms about anyone often, so I was touched. I smiled and nodded, then turned around and entered Sara's room.

She was already awake and talking to her boyfriend who looked like he had stayed the night. _Here we go._

_A/N: Second chapter. This time I have a question for you: how would you explain love?_

_Love like always,_

_Becky._


	3. Hope, Love And Happiness

_**3. Hope**__**, Love and Happiness**_

**I** gave them both a smile. "Mister..?"

"Ben Dawson," he told me. "Please just call me Ben."

I nodded. "Good morning, Sara. I'm Doctor Black. How are feeling?" She had a worn-out expression on her face, but smiled. "I feel fine. Since Ben is here," she smiled at him happily. Usually I would be happy about their love, today I felt jealous. I swallowed. I had no right to feel jealous.

"Since when are you awake?" _Knock the jealousy off. _

"Since ten minutes or so," Ben replied. "I would have called the nurse soon."

I nodded, smiling. "Sara, I would like to talk to you about your current situation. Do you want Ben to leave while I explain everything to you?" She shook her head. "He doesn't have to leave, does he?"

"No. Well, Sara, do you feel your legs?" She looked at me confused. Then a shocked expression was on her face. She tried to understand.

I signed unhappily. "Can you move your legs? Maybe your toes?" After a moment, she shook her head.

"Why?" She whispered.

"Sara, you had an accident. I'm really sorry to say this, but we think it's a rare case of paraplegia. We will make a few tests with you, okay?"

She nodded, clearly still shocked. Ben looked at her worried. I could understand him; she seemed so calm, so under control. But I could see the panic, the horror, in her eyes. I assumed she just didn't want Ben to see her pain. Maybe she didn't even realize what it meant to be paralyzed down the waist.

_I'm so sorry_, I thought, _but you'll find out soon, Sara_.

I took a deep breath. "I will call a nurse. We have to make a blood test. Ben, could I please talk to you for a moment?"

"Yeah … I will be right back," he told Sara, then followed me outside. Standing on the corridor, he gave me a hopeless look. "Doctor Black, what can I do? How … how can I possibly help her? She'll never walk again!" He ran a hand through his thick brown hair.

I felt really sorry for him. He had to feel hopeless, devastated, helpless. And he was thinking the accident was his fault – that couldn't be helping, either.

"I want to be there for her, I really do. I love her. But she wouldn't let me. She keeps pushing me away. She won't tell me what happened that day. She knows that I feel guilty. It doesn't matter to her." He murmured, looking down.

"She is confused right now. Maybe she needs just time," I said, hoping it would make him feel better. "We don't know what happened before the accident, but we will have to find out. We will find out, please be patient, okay?" I glanced at him. He didn't respond at my words but continued his staring at the ground.

"She was so … happy. So full of life. She was always full of energy… and now…" He looked up. "I have to leave in three weeks. Three days ago we had a big argument because of that. I have to go to France to work there. For two months. How can I leave her?" His eyes were full of sadness. "How can I convince her that I'm not still here because I feel sorry for her? How can I make her believe that I love her, no matter what?"

"I'm sorry. I'm doing bodies, not hearts… I also thought I would love someone and he would love me back. I wanted to marry him. He cheated on me; I didn't talk to him since that… I'm not even sure if he knows that I know. Looks like I'm not too good at relationships, either, huh?" I gave him a lopsided smile.

He stared at me. "How-how could you go on? How can you stand in front of me and look - look like you are sure that everything will work out?"

I looked at the ground. Was this the expression I made? To be calm and in control? "I don't know if everything will work out or what the future brings. But I think everyone will find love and hope eventually. Maybe not today and not tomorrow, but at least one day. I'm not sure. I can only hope, and I do hope. Of course we have to work to reach our goals and nobody said that living is easy or life is fair. But there is always a chance to take."

Ben seemed to be lost in thoughts. No one else stood on the corridor now, we were alone. "Even for Sara?"

I nodded. "There is a small chance that she'll be able to walk again. It is more likely that she won't through – but why not try? You never know. And I truly believe she will be happy again, walking or not."

He seemed to be delighted. "Thank you, Doctor Black," he whispered hoarsely. I just nodded and smiled. "Go back to Sara, I'll call a nurse." He nodded and hurried into her room. Through the window I could see them smiling and laughing. Hope, love and happiness are everywhere, even in a little room on the ward four, Woodberry Hospital, Honolulu.

…

Later that day I was lying on my bed, lost in memories about Jack and me. Like the day we met the first time; I was running in the park, listening to music and didn't watch out, so I ran into him. He helped me up and asked me if I was OK and we talked a bit more. I gave him my number and one week later he called and asked me on a date. I said 'no' and told him I didn't want a relationship. He said it was fine and he just wanted to be my friend then. Back then I knew no one in all of Honolulu and was happy to have someone to talk to. He helped me be happy again after mom's death. After a time we had a few very funny dates and I enjoyed every second of them.

_Beep, beep, beep…_

I picked my cell phone up. "Hello?"

"Becca? This is Rachel."

"Rachel!" I squealed. "How are you? How are things going in La Push?"

She chuckled. "Couldn't be better," she said.

I rolled my eyes. "Mind giving me details?"

"Well, yeah, Jake's still an idiot," she told me. I chuckled. "But you wouldn't believe it! Paul's so hot!!"

"Paul?" I asked. I didn't remember a Paul.

"Paul. Friends with Embry and Quil – you remember them, don't you?"

I did remember Embry. He had always been a cute, shy boy, and he was my best friend. Quil was very funny and always telling a bad joke. "Yeah," I told her. "So are you and this Paul together?"

"Hell yes!" She shouted happily. I had to smile.

"Great. What does Jake think?" I grinned. Jake had always been a very over-protective little brother.

"Argh, let him think," Rachel moaned. "I don't care. He'll come around."

"Probably," I agreed.

"Back to you," my sister pointed out. "Has Jack asked you to marry him yet?"

I swallowed. "He did. I told him I needed time."

"Why?"

"Because it didn't feel right. And we're not together anymore."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, sis. What happened?" Rachel asked softly.

"He-He cheated on me," I told her, my voice cracked at the end a bit. Shit.

"I'm so sorry," she repeated. "He didn't deserve you. Told you he's an asshole."

Sure, sure. Rachel thought – like everyone else who knew about Jack and me – that we were made for each other. "What do you do now?" She asked me.

"Go on with my life," I said without thinking. What else would I do?

"You know that your family is always there for you," she said quietly.

"Yeah. That's the reason why you called me when you and Paul got together," I said sarcastically in a harsh tone.

Rachel stayed quiet. I knew she felt guilty; I was her twin. I signed and spoke with a softer voice. "I know that you want to be there for me, and believe me, I want to be there for you, too. Whenever you've got a problem, you can tell me. But you have to admit that we're not that close … and I still miss mom." A lump formed in my throat.

I looked at the ground.

Rachel spoke calm and softly. "I know, I miss her too… but I'm serious. I returned home and now I'm happy. Paul's my Prince Charming."

I shrugged. "I don't want another guy. I wanted Jack."

"Okay, you don't have to find your Prince Charming," she chuckled. "But here's family. Jake and Dad, then there are all the people we hung out with when we were little… You remember the times we made mud cakes with Jared, Embry and Quil?"

I laughed. "Of course!"

"Well, they're all here in La Push. You would have your old friends and your family back."

"Maybe."

_Playlist:_

_Juli – November _

_A/N: Thank you for your reviews: TheCapillary, xxcharlie93xx, FunkyMonkey951, Ever Uley, leydyan22 & Sierra Clearwater _

_I'm sorry I did not mention you guys in the last chapter. Please forgive me! ;)_

_Thank you, Ever Uley, for beta'ing my stuff and being such a good friend. Your review really encouraged me :)_

_In Liebe, lots of Love,_

_Becky._


	4. Something Remains

_**4. **__**Something **____**Remains**___

"**A**rgh!! Just say yes already, please, Becca? I want my sister back. We lost our mom, I didn't want to lose my sister, too," Rachel begged. "Come back to La Push, please."

Tears filled my eyes. Maybe a new beginning was exactly what I needed?

"Rachel, tell Dad and Jake, I'm coming back. Becca is moving to La Push," I whispered into the phone. I tried to remember everyone back in La Push. There was not just my brother and my sister, but also my best friends Embry and Jared. Then I could remember Quil, who was best friends with Jake. I also remembered Seth, Brady and Collin, our youngsters. Last, but not least, there were Sam and Leah who were a few years older and extremely in love. I missed them, I truly missed my family.

"Thank you so much," Rachel said. Her voice was cracking at the end.

"I miss La Push, Rach. I don't know how I could stay in Honolulu; yes, it's been my home for seven fuckin' years now, but everything reminds me of that fuckin' idiot!" I hissed.

"You can stay here. You can have your old room and stuff. What about work? You're a doctor, aren't you?"

"Yeah. I'll just ask my professor or someone else … I will call Forks hospital. It's pretty near, isn't it?" I asked her. I did not feel like driving hours to get to work.

"Yes, it is. When do you plan on coming?"

I considered it a moment. How long would it take to say my goodbyes? "As soon as possible. I want to spend time with my sister. I think I could manage to come in one week, is that ok?"

"Of course!" Rachel squealed. "Great! Wow! I can not believe it! My sister is coming home!" She laughed happily.

"Yeah! So how did you and Paul meet? Tell me all the details!" I demanded, laughing.

"Well…"

…

After talking to Rachel I felt better. Nearly happy. I was coming back, the lost daughter was returning home. Home as in La Push. Where I haven't been in seven years.

And right now, I had a lot to do. I decided to make a list so I wouldn't forget anything.

Talk to Linn.

Talk to Professor Hedley and ask him to give you a reputation letter

Call Forks Hospital and pray to God that they will hire you

Call Jacob

Book a flight and stick post-its everywhere so you won't miss your flight!

Pack your things

Decide what to do with Jack

I would do the first two points tomorrow at work. I had time to do the rest of that tomorrow after work. Only 'Decide what to do with Jack' would be a problem.

Did he know that I knew that he cheated on me? If he didn't, why did he not call me? If he did, would he say he's sorry? Would he say that this would never happen again? Could I believe him? I didn't think so. I loved him. That was the thing that hurt most – I still loved him, no matter what he had done. I hadn't stopped loving him after I saw him cheating on me. But what would I do if he said he still loved me? I wanted to believe him so badly. I wanted to forget everything that happened and start again. I really wanted to forgive him, but I wasn't sure if I would be able to. Could I forget he kissed another woman when he was touching me? Could I forget that he betrayed me when he kissed me, or would it always be on my mind? If we had an argument, would it cross my mind that he could cheat on me another time?

_No. No. NO. I can not handle this,_ I thought to myself. Whatever he did, I would not take him back. It was too late, for both of us.

He deserved a better girl than me. One girl who was not broken, who was not hiding her true emotions.

And I deserved a man better than him. A man who was man enough to be faithful. I needed someone I could count on. I had a lopsided smile on my face at this thought. Jack has always been there when I needed him. He helped me at being happy and now he broke my heart. I shrugged.

_Just get over with it already,_ I thought again_. I just want to forget. Maybe going to La Push will help me doing that. _

…

Next day at work!

"WHAT?!! YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE?!" Linn screamed after I had told her the news.

"Keep it down, Linn, for fuck's sake!" I whisper-yelled back at her.

"But you're going to leave!" She said and gave me one of the saddest looks I have ever seen.

"I won't be gone forever," I told her with a reassuring smile. I hadn't even thought about staying in La Push forever. How long would I stay there?

"But I need you! I'll be old and fat when you come back!" She said with a very sad smile which I immediately returned. I hugged her.

"You'll never be old and fat, Linny. You're going for a jog every day and you eat lots and lots of vegetables. I'm the doctor; you're really healthy so you'll not get fat."

She gave me a death glance. "Say you! You're the doctor, right, but I'm the girl here. And my skin tells me I'm getting old and fat!" She insisted.

Before I could respond she told me: "I'm expecting three phone calls a week. And don't you dare tell me you were too busy! You're never too busy; no one knows that better than I do!"

She let go of me. "Tell me everything, ok, Becca? I will miss you so much." I nodded and pulled her into another hug.

…

Didn't I consider what I would leave behind? Linn was a true friend, and I would have to live without her. Maybe we wouldn't lose connection completely, but it wouldn't be the same as now.

With going to La Push, I could win much but I was also loosing my life in Honolulu, my friends and my job.

The hospital was my second home. I was sure I had spent more time in the hospital than in my apartment. I knew every nurse, every doctor and every patient. I would finish my work by 6 p.m. and get home by 11 p.m. just because I wanted to talk to a few patients or have a look at their diagnosis or treatment. It was my life.

…

I met Jack here. We were together for more than six years. We knew each other inside out. We understood each other without words. I knew every thought of him, every emotion. We shared so many memories of good times. We had had a few little arguments but we always worked things out. Jack was a funny and smart man. He was handsome, understanding, open-minded and caring. We had a lot in common. Weren't we meant to be? Hadn't we another chance? Couldn't we go through this together?

Would I waste our chance if I went to La Push?

Could I leave everything behind? Without looking back?

Could I forget everything that happened in Honolulu?

*****

Good days. Jack's arms wrapped around me as we celebrated my birthday.

Jack's lips on my cheek after we went out for the first time.

Linn's huge smile as she told me that we saved another life.

*****

Bad days. Jack's arms wrapped around another woman.

Jack's lips on another woman's.

The day one of my patient's died. Linn and I were both crying. Jack held me and told me everything would be alright.

*****

Could I forget that?

No.

_No, no, no._

I would never forget that.

And in this moment I realized: Something always remains.

Our memories.

And I didn't regret it.

_Playlist:_

_Just a Dream – Carrie Underwood_

_Irgendwas bleibt – Silbermond (Translation: Something remains by Silbermond)_

_A/N: Kinda sad, isn't it? Well, please tell me your opinion and review. __Oh, and I promise, chapter 5 will be longer again. And in chapter 5 there will be Embry! Yay! _

_Thank you for your reviews: Sierra Clearwater, leydyan22, xxcharlie93xx, Wolfgurl12345 and Ever Uley!_

_- I posted the One-Shot 'Catch Me When I'm Gone'. Please read it and tell me your opinion; if you really like it, I will write a whole story like this. Thank you! -_

_Love you all,_

_Becky._


	5. Embry

_**5. Embry**_

**T**he next few days passed by quickly. I operated Sara and she was recovering pretty quickly. I tried to feel happy for her, but I couldn't. She would have to go though a lot more. And I didn't feel like talking at all. I was feeling dizzy all the time, it was like I was in a weird state between being asleep and awake, alive and dead, here and gone. I was oddly carefree and ready to take risks. I didn't care anymore about consequences. I didn't really care if I got hurt. It did not matter anymore.

I promised myself I would not let him destroy me. But now I was wasted.

I did not feel anything. I did not feel excitement. I did not feel joy. I did not feel the pain anymore.

I felt tired. I felt lifeless. I felt empty.

I didn't look forward to anything anymore. I wasn't spending my free time at work. I spent my free time sitting on my bed and staring holes in the air. I was neither thinking nor dreaming. I was just sitting and feeling the emptiness.

Slowly I got up and searched my to-do-list.

Talk to Linn. _Check._

Talk to Professor Hedley and ask him to give you a reputation letter _Double Check. Check Check. He's writing me one, yeah! Damn, you should be happy when you read this._

Call Forks Hospital and pray to God that they will hire you _Check!! I'm hired in forks. At least._

Call Jacob _Check. Could have gone better, but what did you expect? At least he'll be home for one week before retuning to Canada.___

Book a flight and stick post-its everywhere so you won't miss your flight! _Check. Everywhere are fuckin' post-its. Tomorrow you gotta catch your flight and Rachel will kick your ass if you miss it!_

Pack your things _Check. I have to go shopping in Forks; I'll leave half of my things here._

Decide what to do with Jack _Shit. No Check._

I signed while I was reading. Not just because I was not only talking to myself, but even writing; point number seven gave me a headache. I did not talk to Jack since … well, since he cheated on me. Thinking those words made me feel even more empty – how was that possible? If you're empty, you're empty. But you can't get emptier, can you? Well, that didn't make any sense. At least Jack wanted to talk to me. He called a few times a day, especially at night when he knew that I was at home.

_**Beep, beep, beep.**_

Like now. I sighed. I was staring at my cell phone while playing with it. I did not want to talk to him, but I was pretty sure he would leave a message.

My voice sounded happy and positive.

_Hey, this is Rebecca Black. I'm either busy at the moment or I'm just too lazy to flip my phone open. Please leave a message after the '__**Beeeeeep**__' so I can call you back when I've got time. Thanks._ _**Beeeeeep.**_ His deep voice spoke after he cleared his throat.

_Hey Becca. I'm so sorry. I know I made a huge mistake. I really need to talk to you!__ I can't tell you to forgive me. That's your decision, but I think I deserve a chance to explain. Please! Becca, you're everything to me and I love you with all my heart! I love you! Well, please call me back… I won't stop calling you, just so you know. Jack. _

One tear made its way down my cheek. I did not wipe it away. It did not make sense. I didn't understand why I felt the way I did. What had changed? Yes, Jack cheated on me. But could that be the reason why I felt lifeless? It could impossibly the only reason for my current state. I shrugged and went into the bath room. Looking into the mirror, I raised my eyebrows. My sparkling green eyes had turned into a deep calm forest green. My raven hair was jejunely hanging on my shoulders. I looked pretty ill even though I felt pretty dead. Why can't someone die because of a broken heart?

_Knock, knock, knock. _

I turned around and got the door, opening it slowly and carefully. In front of me were a huge bunch of red roses and a man hiding behind them: Jack.

"Go away, Jack," I told him wearily.

"No, Becca," he pleaded. "Please, believe me, I never meant to hurt you!"

"Yeah," I answered. Suddenly I just felt tired and wanted to sleep. I did not even recognize Jack; his voice sounded familiar but I did not care. I just wanted to be alone and go to sleep. "Should have thought about that before making out with another woman," I added. "Well, maybe next time, huh?"

He took one step forward and grabbed my shoulders. "Becca! I love you! I'm so sorry!"

"Sure, sure," I said. His hands were still on my shoulders as I eyed them expectantly. Then, one of his hands wandered to my chin and lifted if softly. I turned my head so I wouldn't have to face him.

"Jack, let me go. Please." But instead of letting me go, he pulled me towards him and wrapped his arms around my waist. I could feel his muscles through my thin shirt. I offered no resistance to him. I could taste his breath for one second before he finally pressed his lips very gently against mine.

And it was like I recovered my senses again. My thoughts were spinning round in my head and I couldn't think straight, but my hands pushed him away from me. He took a few steps back and stared at me. His eyes were the contact as I was staring back for a second. Then I turned around and slammed the door shut. I leaned against it and let myself slowly drift onto the floor. I closed my eyes and buried my face in my hands, my lips were on fire. His kiss was still burning on my lips.

For one second I was happy to feel alive again.

In the next second I felt the pain again. I was whole but I was alone. My chest was burning.

I wished my emptiness back before I drifted softly off to sleep.

* * *

-Next day in the airplane-

"We are going to land in the next few minutes. We hope you had a pleasant flight and wish you a nice day." A voice said through the speakers.

I stopped staring out of the window and stretched a bit. I yawned. God knows I didn't sleep well on the floor last night. I tried to fall asleep in the plane. But instead of sleeping I was staring outside at the rain. It was autumn and I could nearly feel the cold wind blowing outside.

After I woke up this morning, I felt lifeless again, and I didn't plan on kissing Jack again only in order to feel alive again. For me, he was just another one who was cold. Whenever I thought of him, I felt cold and no longer warm.

Half an hour later I was sitting in a cab and getting to La Push. I did miss the rain in Hawaii; I loved the rain. I couldn't understand people who complained about getting wet or freezing. The rain has always calmed me down. He had a soft rhythm that made me feel safe.

As the cab pulled into the familiar drive away, I swallowed hard. Nothing had changed. The car stopped in front of a small white house with a big backyard. Behind the house were the woods. A few very thirsty-looking plants stood in front of the house. The white door had still the little 'Welcome' sign on it which my siblings, the guys and I made when we were little; Mom helped us making it. A thump built in my throat as I paid the driver, took my bag and made my way to the door. Just as I wanted to knock, the door opened and a huge guy stood in the doorframe.

He was very tall and muscled. His raven hair was short, but long enough to play with it. I was admiring his copper skin for a moment, before I met his eyes.

Green met blue and everything else became a blur. He was the most handsome man I had ever seen with his plump lips and light blue eyes. He was breathtaking. I was staring at him in awe for what seemed like hours but I hoped it were just seconds. His features were clear and beautiful, being familiar. On the second look at him I realized that this huge hot guy in front of me was my best friend Embry Call. He was staring back at me until we eventually smiled both at the same time. He opened his mouth to speak. "Hey, I'm Embry Call."

_Playlist:_

_MaximNoise feat__. Emy – Kampfabsage (beautiful song that inspired me.)_

_Rapsoul – Du und Ich_

_Gavin DeGraw – Cheated on Me_

_A/N: Thanks to Ever Uley again for beta'ing my stuff and being such a good friend._

_Thank you for your reviews: leydyan22, Sierra Clearwater, Wolfgurl12345 and Ever Uley!_

_Also, I wanted to thank the ones who reviewed 'Catch Me When I'm Gone': TeamSwitzerland2323 & Sierra Clearwater!_

_Please review and tell me what you think. _


	6. Back Home

_**6. Back Home**_

**I** beamed back at him. "Becca Black," I told him, smiling. His eyes widened in surprise and he opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out of it.

This reminded me of old days. Good old days.

"Still a shy guy, aren't you?" I teased him.

"Becca," he whispered in awe. He took a few steps forwards and hugged me so tight that I let my bag fall.

"Can't…breathe…Em!" I murmured. Having his very hot – in both ways – arms wrapped around me made me feel oddly comfortable.

"I'm sorry," he said and immediately let me go. I smiled up at him and he beamed back at me.

"You're really tall, you know that, right?"

He grinned. "Or so I've been told," he answered jokingly. "But you're not too bad yourself. You're even taller than Rachel, and that's rare."

I shrugged. "Runs in the family, you know that," I told him. "Well, won't you let me in? I mean, Dad and Jake are still living here, aren't they?"

He smiled and took a few steps back. "'Course they do. Well, actually just Rach and Billy live here. Jake's usually with friends in Canada…he's just staying for a week."

I nodded. Jake had already told me that, though I couldn't understand why he would go with the girl who stole his heart years ago and her husband. He only told me he was still her best friend and I knew there was more behind, but accepted it.

I entered the house. The living room was still the same old, just like I remembered it. A small sofa was in front of the TV, photos were hanging on the walls. I had to swallow hard as I saw them. They were pictures of Rachel, Jake and me as kids, but also the whole family – including my mom.

Embry seemed to notice that I was staring at the pictures. He touched my arm. "Hey," he whispered softly. "Come on." I looked down for a moment and tried to focus on other things than my mom. Eventually I looked up and nodded. "Yeah."

He led our way to the kitchen where Rach was standing in front of the oven with her back to us. "Jake? Embry? Quil? Whoever, the food's not ready! And if it was, you wouldn't get anything because we all wait for Becca and I'm trying to cook here so leave the kitchen! Oh, and if it's Dad, I'm sorry. I might be excited…" She added quickly, still not turning around.

"Oh, but won't you even look at Becca when she's already coming back?" Embry asked mockingly.

Rach turned around, finally. "What-where-when…" She stumbled. Then she saw me and pulled me in a big bear-hug. "Becca!" She exclaimed. I hugged her back just as tight; I really missed my twin sister and we both felt this connection between us. We felt it since we were both kids. I always knew what she was feeling and thinking and she just knew me as well. But you wouldn't need a mind reader to find out that she was very happy and excited. When she let go of me, she looked me up and down.

"You look like shit," she told me. Embry was stealing glances as me, but I acted like I hadn't noticed.

"Thanks," I said half-hearty with a lopsided smile. "You don't look to bad yourself." She was wearing a light blue skirt and a tight t-shirt. Her straight hair was up in a pony tail.

Rachel chuckled. "Paul likes me this way," she pointed out. She looked at my boring jeans-and-t-shirt-outfit and I was sure she already planned a shopping trip for both of us.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, let me say hello to Dad and Jake first before I meet this 'hot' guy," I told her grinning. I glanced at Embry out of the corner of my eyes and it seemed like he didn't like me saying this, he tensed up.

Rachel smacked my arm. "I can't deny he's hot, but he's mine," she said with a tee-hee attitude.

I laughed at her. "I would never like the same guy as you. You have a terrible taste," I told her.

Then she laughed, too. "Did you meet Embry yet?" She asked me, but was looking at him who had relaxed again and was smiling at me.

I nodded. "How could I forget my best guy friend?" I asked dramatically. Her eyes widened in surprise, as if she just caught something I didn't. Embry flushed slightly and she sniggered.

"Good luck with Jake," she told Embry. He shrugged. I stared at my twin as if she was crazy. Why would he need good luck with Jake?

Just in that moment a very huge boy/man with the same raven hair as I bolted into the kitchen and pulled me in a bone-crashing hug. "Becca!" He whispered cheerfully in my ear. "Have I really changed that much?" I asked sarcastically. Jacob's laughter sounded like sun in my ears. I had missed that. I gave him another un-forced smile – _I'm smiling too much today, aren't I? Tomorrow my whole face will hurt. At least it's worth it…and it just feels so good to be home again_, I thought happily.

"It's been seven years, Becca. That's a long time," Dad said. I didn't even notice him being there but now I released myself out of Jake's grip and hugged my Dad tight. "I've missed you," I whispered in his ear. He smiled.

"So, I see you already met Embry?" Jacob asked. I nodded and smiled at Embry, who was beaming back at me. I was glad to have my best friend back – maybe coming back wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"What the heck?!" Jacob exclaimed suddenly. He started shaking violently.

"Jake…" Embry began.

"Don't say anything! First Paul, now you! THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL-"

"Son!" Dad said harshly. "He has no control over that. Outside, now!" Both Jake and Embry went outside. Billy murmured something and entered his own room. Rach and I stood for a moment in an awkward silence.

"Well…this one was unexpected," I said. "For you," Rachel murmured but I knew I wasn't supposed to hear that. Then she nodded. "Well, you've got your old room, of course… We changed nothing. Maybe you want to unpack and I'll finish the food?" She suggested. I nodded and took my bag upstairs.

Nothing had changed in my room. It was a pretty small room with one window under which a wooden desk stood. I remembered doing my homework every day sitting at this desk and staring out in the rain. I smiled. I loved the view. I quickly put my bag on the bed where I would put everything that belonged to me. Every evening I would have to pick all the things up and put them somewhere else so I could actually lie down on my bed. I opened my window and looked outside. I heard some yelling, but couldn't make out the words. I turned my head to the right, where the woods were, and saw Jake and Embry there. Jacob was still shaking and I could tell that he was really mad at Embry. Then, suddenly, his shaking increased and he disappeared. Instead of my brother, a … animal stood there. It was the least to say I was shocked. The animal had four paws and fur; I could it describe best as an over-sized dog, which looked really dangerous.

However, Embry didn't look frightened. He took a few steps forward and raised his hands as if he wanted to stop a car. The wolf took also a few steps towards Embry and growled. I wanted to scream so badly but my throat was sore and no sound came out of it.

Then I saw the wolf's eyes. Jacob.

It clicked in my head.

The legends, the bonfires, the stories… The stories Dad told us when we were little. The legends of our tribe, the legends about the shape-shifter, they were all true.

And my brother was one of them.

I stood there and tried to wrap my head around these thoughts. I started to feel dizzy and held onto my desk. I focused on Embry again. Jacob's wolf form snarled and shivers ran down my spine. Embry went slowly backwards. Jacob did not follow him but turned around so he didn't face Embry anymore. Em seemed to relax. He lowered his hands and shoved them in his pockets. He looked down. Suddenly, Wolf Jacob turned around and attacked Embry. Jake raised his huge paw and hit Embry hard on the shoulder.

_Crack._

_A/N: I don't own Twilight… _

_Sorry for not updating for so long. I am really busy the next three weeks =( But I promise I will keep writing! _

_I got myself a fictionpress account. You find it on my profile.____My poems will be posted there. I already posted two of them, please read and review them!_

_Again, if you like this story, please read my other story 'Catch Me When I'm Gone' and review it. Please also have a look at my poll. _

_Now, my thanks to: leydyan22, xxcharlie93xx, FunkyMonkey951, Ever Uley, Wolfgurl12345, Sierra Clearwater, Stereo Skyline 1Fan, vampireorvampyre & dreamingofmagic!_

_Thank you for reading! Please review.!_


End file.
